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May 22 2018

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Dragon age/Shrek mash up this time! Inspired as always by random wank me, @chralotte & @leiaaorganas make jokes about

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Spread this around; remind the world that for every Nazi, there’s an entire train full of sensible people capable of basic moral behaviour. 

I love my city so much.

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I just DIED

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an important question i need answering, i need to know if they will do the thing

May 21 2018




“I think they’re turning left.”

May 19 2018





hey ohio followers.. I’m sorry

i just rode through your whole state in 4 hours and saw like 3 buildings

hey op where did you see the buildings

where are the buildings op

May 18 2018

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May 17 2018










Headcanon that an outraged 6-year-old Charlie Weasley writes to an elderly Newt Scamander wanting to know why Gringotts keeps a dragon locked up underground and begging him to fix it. Newt writes back saying that sadly he’s been fighting that fight for years and no one ever wants to listen to him because the powerful families whose money is being kept safe by the dragon always shut him down, and that Charlie is the first person he’s heard of who’s as angry as he is about it. Charlie decides that day to dedicate his life to finding out everything he can about dragons so that one day he can free the poor Gringotts dragon. After the war, when they hear that Harry, Ron and Hermione freed the dragon, they celebrate and immediately begin petitioning to have it made illegal to imprison dragons so that nothing like that ever happens again. It’s only when Hermione becomes Minister that it’s finally signed into law.

This is the best Harry Potter headcanon I’ve ever seen

yes yes yes

Just imagine how that conversation would go though, like Charlie’s been learning about dragons his whole life, studying them, learning about the laws surrounding them, practising the jailbreak of dragons by smuggling one out of Hogwarts, preparing for the moment when, one day, he can free the Ukrainian Ironbelly from Gringotts.

And Ron’s like “Oh, yeah, don’t worry about it—we broke into Gringotts and used him as our get-away vehicle. He’s just chilling in the wilds somewhere now so, yeah. Job done.”

I want an AU where Ron, completely convinced that he’s overshadowed by all his brothers and will never be as remarkable or as well-recognised as any of them, just accidentally achieves all of their major life goals without noticing. They’re all super jealous and think of him as The Golden Brother and he’s completely clueless. 

I’m not sure this is an AU to be honest.  I mean:

Bill Weasley:  Curse-breaker, works for Gringotts breaking into cursed tombs and distributing valuables to heirs.  Ron Weasley both broke into Gringotts itself and destroyed the ultimate cursed object, a Horcrux.  Check.

Charlie Weasley:  Aforementioned dragon stuff. Check.

Percy Weasley:  Social climber, status seeker, desperate for attention and approval from his superiors.  Ron:  Literally married to the actual Minister of Magic.  Check.

Someone else add on to this with Weasley-twin eclipsing stunts and hijinks, I’m sure there are some but my brain isn’t thinking of them right now.


The twins had it worse than anyone.

They wanted to be the worst troublemakers Hogwarts has ever seen?

Ron stole a flying car, flew it from London to Scotland (breaking the international statute of secrecy so many times in the process), and then crashed it into the Whomping Willow. In his second year.

They wanted to use the Marauders Map to learn all the secrets of Hogwarts castle?

Ron helped discover the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets, managed to sneak into the Slytherin common room and had weekly meetings in the Room of Requirement. Oh, and he also managed to top it all of by discovering the secret of the Marauders Map itself.

They wanted to at least make sure that they ended their last year at Hogwarts as the main talking point in the school— y'know, since they put so much effort into all those cool pranks and things?

Ron only goes and takes part in a battle at the Ministry of Magic, during which actual Lord fucking Voldemort shows up and posesses his best friend, safely ensuring that nobody’s going to be talking about that cool swamp the Weasley twins made anymore.

One of the main reasons they started Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes was that they knew that Ron wasn’t interested in starting a business and so was unlikely to one-up them in that regard (and then he ended up becoming a partner in the business…)

For years, whenever Ginny confided in her older brothers about her crush on Harry, it was a running joke with all of them except Ron (who never knew about it) to tell her that she’d better get a move on, whatever happened, lest Ron steal her dream too and propose to Harry.

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norway’s curling team is appropriately dressed for valentine’s day

day 2: norway is still slaying the pants game

day 3: pants game is still on top

day 4: still impressive

day 5: another day another trouser

day 6: they have yet to wear one pair twice

Okay so I already reblogged this once but I’m reblogging again because I just watched a short documentary about these pants.

Apparently back at their first Olympics appearance, they (especially Chris Svae, the ginger who plays second) were pretty disappointed with their gear because the gear didn’t look flattering. They couldn’t change the shirts because of Norway federation sponsorships so they started looking for pants to wear. They had a hard time finding pants that both looked respectable enough for professional curling and stretchy enough to allow curling, and promptly gave up on finding pants that were both stretchy and professional.

Chris Svae ended up finding pants that were Norway-colors-ish that looked comfortable enough for curling, but had crazy patterns. People at Olympics were not happy about this because PATTERNS AREN’T RESPECTABLE ENOUGH, so they were conflicted. But the night before the opening ceremony, they were hanging out with a bunch of lady skiiers. Chris at some point just takes off his pants and put on the crazy pants they bought and asks “Do you think we should wear these pants” and the skiers were like “he’ll yeah you should totally do it”

So they wore the crazy pants to play in the Olympics, and a few days later the website where they bought the pants crashed. The owner of the website visited them in Vancouver for the Olympics, and then decided to sponsor the team.

And now, 8 years layer, the Norwegian team has a different pair of pants for each match. Including a Valentine’s day pair.

I love the feedback loop of “wow people wearing our ridiculous pants made us successful. let’s send them MORE PANTS”

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tumblr i’m begging you please let me reblog the big tiddy coffin


avengers: how are we going to beat thanos,, he’s unstoppable

peter parker, a millennial who watches john mulaney’s “kid gorgeous” at least twice a day: have you ever heard of street smarts

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You are a good man, with a good heart. And it’s hard for a good man to be a king. 

Black Panther (2018) dir. Ryan Coogler

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based off this 


thor’s new axe is basically his engraved money clip with $50 that he threw at thanos to throw him off his rhythm 

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tonight we will eat at samsung

Samsung is out here ending lives.

How can  I get one of these corporate twitter jobs lol

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