Tumblelog by Soup.io
Newer posts are loading.
You are at the newest post.
Click here to check if anything new just came in.

July 24 2017

wheatley-blogs:

me: I don’t want to draw because I’m no good

my brain: you have to draw to get better though

me:

ruinedchildhood:

firelorcl:

nobody’s dick is big when you think of how small we are in the universe

lingrix:

ive never said 1 coherent thing in my life

4200 3677

jin-hikari:

sodomymcscurvylegs:

cloudfreed:

onawhirlwind:

princessofpop:

“Pokémom”

Britney omg why

this is the birthday party she just threw for her kids

i am FASCINATED by how Britney is so supportive and excited about their interest in Pokemon even though I have absolutely no doubt she is utterly confused by Pokemon

Honestly, Britney Spears seems like an excellent mom.

4202 ebf5 500

lifeafterhappilyeverafter:

And no one knows who far it goes. 

July 23 2017

4203 b40e 500

tailsismaimofo:

martianbees:

creed-of-corruption:

island-delver-go:

secretsinthemargin:

I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem.

This is honestly the most wild sounding romance novel I have ever seen and thought it might brighten someone’s day.

OK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T REALIZE, SANDRA HILL IS THE WOMAN WHO WROTE “ROUGH AMD READY” ANOTHER EROTIC VIKING NOVEL. SOME OF THE MORE MEMORABLE QUOTES BEING:

“As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.”

“Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.”

“Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.”

YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE READ THIS TO AT COLLEGE. ONE GUY COMPLETELY LOST IT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AFTER HEARING THE PHRASE “DICK ANEURYSM.”

I’M CHOKING I NEED THE TITLES

July 20 2017

youdtearthiscanvasskinapart:

supertrout95:

youdtearthiscanvasskinapart:

9 hours of studying and I can’t remember my own name but I can remember how to kill a man using a toothbrush so there’s that

the hell kind of classes are you taking?

I’m a forensic criminologist our slogan is “can’t run fast enough to be a serial killer so I’ll just help the police catch them”

makeup tips from an actual makeup artist

amorala:

naihve:

misfittramp:

-dont use tape around your eyes
-expensive makeup doesnt mean its better
-YOUTUBERS HAVE NOT BEEN TO COSMETOLOGY SCHOOL. they are often paid to say things
-you cant learn to do makeup from a video. you just need to practice.
-you dont need to line your lips if you’re wearing liquid to matte lipstick (dont listen to kylie jenner)
-use a foundation your shade. I’m talking to you white girls. stop it.
-YOU DONT NEED EXPENSIVE MAKEUP (its not always worth it)
-THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY TO DO MAKEUP
-the right eyebrows/ eye makeup depends on your eye and face shape.
-STOP WATCHING CONTOUR TUTORIALS
-NOT EVERYONE HAS THE SAME FACE SHAPE
-red eyeshadow can look good
-glitter is always a good idea
-there is no such thing as day time and night time makeup
-heavy makeup is pretty and you look good
-WHO CARES IF ITS SMUDGED OR NOT BLENDED? YOU TRIED.

this is important 

This is exactly the things I tell people at my Makeup 101 panel.

4205 d212

marvelheroes:

You can take away my house, all my tricks and toys, but one thing you can’t take away - I am Iron Man.

July 19 2017

shorthalt:

ao3: and they were roommates
me, opening the fic up: Oh My God They Were Roommates

honestly not sure how you’re still ruining my life after we stopped communicating but here you are still ruining everything and making me think of you all the time!!!!!!! eat a dick.

4206 ca5f 500

bugghosts:

kaible:

catbountry:

zygoats:

zygoats:

a kid from my school sent me a pic an elaborate painting of atticus finch shirtless smoking a blunt while a colt 45 is being poured on him along with a text that read “hot dad 2: dad harder” and this is the closest thing to a sext I have ever received

found itimage

You neglected to mention the Tupac and Biggie cherubs how dare you.

look there’s a lot going on here it makes perfect sense that they’d forget some details

*tattoos my angry child’s face on my right bicep*

4207 42ef 500

atomicbob93:

crustyoltanker:

pattythenest:

That’s one bad ass line

True BAMF.

Damn right he won.

4208 87cc

avantgaye:

kickassleslie:

here is a short list of how Ben and Jerry are actually the same person:

-easily flustered/startled
-married to hot blonde
-their wives are amazing and too good for them
-have three children
-actual human disasters
-bisexual

didn’t realize this was about the men from parks and rec and thought you were talking about the ice cream men

heathyr:

heathyr:

sometimes ………….. books that are considered classics…………. are worse

everyone’s tags on this post are enhancing my life force

July 18 2017

infamously-exhausted:

i hope the rest of july treats you well, august leaves you happy, september fills you with warmth, october gives you closure, november gives you new beginnings, december gives you A love of your life, and 2018 is fruitful and you love and are loved

Older posts are this way If this message doesn't go away, click anywhere on the page to continue loading posts.
Could not load more posts
Maybe Soup is currently being updated? I'll try again automatically in a few seconds...
Just a second, loading more posts...
You've reached the end.

Don't be the product, buy the product!

Schweinderl